There are many instances that i have come across, majorly in India, where people are treated as commodity. This got me the idea to jott down a series and put my thoughts on it. People are just human beings and that's how they should be considered, treated and valued. The societies and individuals' minds have been programmed into boxed thinking, with walls and barriers, of even the ones educated. I really feel sorry and very bad about it.
Today I am putting forward my idea on the concept of marriage. In India the usual practice is of an arranged marrage, or perhaps marriage - an arrangement. Arrangement for convenience, physical needs, social status, etc. The very idealogy could never convince me and I can never agree to this idea, even for my daughter. Hardly I see importance or value given to emotional aspects, sentiments, love, care, bonding, respect, feelings, etc. Many people rather put it as, "get married first and the rest will develop and happen gradually on its own". ...with someone unknown? By dictated/imposed choice? By compulsion or forcefully? By making a compromise to the situation and submitting to the taboos? Then, many questions arise.... What the society would say? How will the family take it as or react to it? The blood leniage would be adultrated or spoilt, and so on goes so many questions, unreasonable remarks and statements.
It all starts with the search for the brides and the grooms. With super high expectations....the bride, she is suppose to have all the possible best attributes and qualities, firstly physically and look wise, then money, family background, extreamly important aspect is beliefs-religion-cast-creed factors. Conditions that apply for groom selection, firstly a good and secure job with a good pay package, social status, money, ofcourse the beliefs-religion-cast-creed comes into prime role. And thus accordingly are the humans choiced and selected, just like any commodity. This is prevelant amongst the educated masses as well, many of whom would preach equality and against discrimination but would themselves practice otherwise.
If we look into the Indian matrimonial sites, the divisions, the segrigations, the criterias, the expectation and demands of the members/advertisers, reflects the actual mentality and narrow minded, orthodox thinking of the people, where humans are advertised like commodities and put up for display to be choiced for best selection. Attitude, mindset, taste, compatibility, emotions and feelings are kept in the back seat. Physical appeal, financial status, security and definitely beliefs-religion-cast-creed are the highlighted key criteria for selection. It's as if some kind of trade or marketing/shopping of human beings , maybe not in cash but in kind.
Putting forward conditions, asking age, salary, position, job details, personal preferences, etc....how rude! Craving to be selected, giving the best presentation and performance to prove to be the best potential candidate/prospect....I find it obnoxious.
The potential grooms and their families make efforts to select the best potential bride first by scanning and shortlisting through the pictures of the girls (beauty and physical attributes) and then by going to see them whether they match up to their expectations, then rejecting these ladies put on exhibition, till they finally make a selection. Applies at times on the potential grooms as well. The rejected candidates, mainly girls, have to take it on their stride - rejected, degected, left with low self esteem with a feeling of inferiority, preparing and gearing up for the next show, receiving councelling sessions from the family members on their presentation and performance. Is it not inhuman, a torment, derogatory, humiliating, intimidating and antagonising, is it not an emotional, intellectual and mental insult, an agony? This also at times apply on the male candidates, but since most of the times these boys out of superiority complex we can say, shrug off such instances, if at all they face any, blaming the girl and their family as 'not a right match'.
It's an irony that this evil is an accepted practices in the Indian society and the boys and the girls submit to it and accept it. Many are timid and weak and don't have the courage to stand and speak for themselves infront of their families. They do what they are dictated to do by their family members and take to a compromise, suppressing their feelings, emotions and personal reasoning.
My point is, human beings are not for exhibition and to be selected and picked up like any commodity, or handled like some personal property. They are not to be selected and picked for just physical needs, social status, personal help or what so ever, or for superficial reasons or for producing progeny. Marriage is not suppose to be a compromise upon your life, some sort of agreement for convenience, an imposition. Human beings need, and should have the absolute freedom to make their own choice for selecting their life partner, the one they like, the one they love, the one they admire, the one they are in agreement with, the one with similar taste, interests and intellectual ideas, the one they feel for, care about and choose. Marrage is a partnership of life and to make this world a beautiful place. At least that is how I perceive it as.
To spread the message, remind and make people conscious, that people are not commodity, they are #JustHumanBeings, treat them with care and value them, they are fragile. Human beings should be treated with compassion and respect. People need to get out of their evil mindsets/mental programming and practices, people need to get out of these meaningless socio-cultural taboos, people need to change their thinking....that's my idea. Equality, freedom, human values, humanity are most important aspects as a human being and that is what should be emphasised upon and embraced.
